confidenceman | everyone here has loved and lost, so level up and love again

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everyone here has loved and lost, so level up and love again

On the way over to Andrea's apartment, Cleo can't seem to stop kicking her legs in delight. Although there's no way for Sawyer to interpret the occasional babbling that she manages to squeeze around the fingers stuffed in her mouth, he likes to think that it's because she's getting to venture outside when the sun is high, that she's with Sawyer for a rare day off as they venture through town. There are times when he lets himself worry about the fact that Cleo spends more waking hours with her babysitters than directly with her father — but he's doing the best that he can, and she doesn't seem to have any trouble handling the hand-off.

So he'll forgive himself for the time being, for his inexperience and his lack of availability. And work until he can say that he's no longer behind in either.

"You ain't got the slightest clue what we're up to, do ya?" he asks the baby quietly, reaching for her washcloth to wipe away the drool on her fingers, trying to encourage her to take her pacifier instead. When she does so only after a sigh, he chuckles. "Yeah, I know. Papa's no fun."

Tugging her knit cap further down on her head, he presses a kiss on top of her forehead before taking Cleo up the elevator. She wiggles as the elevator picks up speed, wide blue eyes staring both up and down, towards the edges of the cart, one of her hands finding its way to Sawyer's collar and holding tight.

"It's okay," Sawyer says, hushing as he bounces her lightly, patting her back. "I'd take you up the stairs, but six floors makes for a bumpy ride. C'mon, let's go meet the other Clementine."

Once in front of Andrea's apartment, Sawyer makes sure to keep his shoulders back, trying his best to look presentable in spite of his windswept appearance, reaching out to knock sharply on the door.

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Andrea has done a lot of things in her life, a lot of strange things and a lot of terribly normal things, too, but she can't say she's ever done this. She's never had a friend over with his child to meet the child she's looking after and although the Clementines are clearly very far apart in age, she still can't help but feel like this is almost something that normal people do when they haven't been chased by zombies for several years and when they haven't spent a lot of their time shooting at zombies or sometimes even other people.

She's put on coffee, but she has tea as well, if he's more interested in that. She's also put out some snacks, cookies and other pastries, crackers and cheese, and when the knock comes, she looks over at Clementine and gives her a smile. "You ready?"

Clementine put on one of her nicer dresses today, a light blue one that went down to her knees and swished when she walked. Andrea hadn't told her she needed to look really nice for it, but she saw all the effort she was putting into her friend visiting with his little baby and she thought it'd be nice. Besides, they weren't going out or anything, which was why she hadn't really been wearing them lately.

She still wore her hat, though. No matter how much the baseball cap seemed mismatched to her outfit, she almost didn't feel right not wearing it. Like it was part of her. She had been sitting on the couch with Bailey once she was all ready, watching TV as they waited, when she heard the knock. Hopping off and turning off the TV, she smiled up at her.

"Uh-huh. Should I put Bailey in a room?" she asked, glancing at the dog. She was well behaved and small (though admittedly was currently glancing at the food put out), but that didn't mean she was allowed to be around babies. She had only been around younger cousins before here, and she only had a hamster as a pet once. That didn't really count.

After a couple seconds of staring at the door, Cleo seems to lose interest, starting to squirm in Sawyer's arms and throwing her fist back against his jacket until she finds a firm grip. Shifting her weight slightly, Sawyer pulls her closer, wondering if she's looking for a little more security. From what he's observed of Cleo so far, when she isn't meeting someone new, she tends to ball herself up against whoever is holding her at the time. He can't tell if it's affection, or if she's just shy.

"Hey, baby, it's okay," he murmurs softly at her, trying to coax her to look up, feeling his smile widen when she turns bright blue eyes up at him and allows a small smile. "You're gonna make a new friend today. She's a lil' closer to your age than your papa is. And you'll be seeing Andrea again. You like that?"

There's no way that she understands yet at this age, but Cleo perks up slightly, letting herself repeat a couple of syllables under her breath and kicking her feet out.

"No, I think she's okay," Andrea answers with a grin, passing her hand over the top of Clementine's hat on her way to the door. She's not sure how Sawyer's daughter will react to the dog, but Bailey is small enough and she's generally well behaved, Andrea doesn't see any reason why they should put her away in a room. "As long as she doesn't eat the food," she adds with a laugh, giving Bailey a gentle nudge away from the table before she reaches the door and pulls it open.

"Hey," she says, smiling at Sawyer and his daughter on the other side before she steps aside. "Come on in."

"No food, Bailey," she said to the dog as Andrea went to open the door. The dog looked disappointed, but sat down next to her, tail wagging as she watched who was coming in. She had been trained not to jump on people, but that didn't mean she didn't have the urge to run over and greet them.

"Hi," she said, offering the man a small, shy smile when he was let inside. She wasn't too sure what was proper when it came to babies, so she didn't go over just yet either. "I'm Clementine, nice to meet you."

Sawyer can feel Cleo sitting up a little straighter when Andrea opens the door, watching silently with wide eyes, one hand closing around Sawyer's coat before she breaks into a wide smile. He glances over and gives Andrea a bright smile, before catching sight of the young girl and dog a few steps further back. He steps easily into the apartment, taking measured steps, with enough movement that Cleo's gaze breaks from Andrea and glances haphazardly around the apartment.

"Thanks," he says to Andrea, before grinning at the young girl, eyes following her many ringlets. "Hey there, Clementine. I'm Sawyer, and the pleasure's all mine. And this... is also Clementine, though I've started calling her Cleo now and again. Cleo, can you say hi?"

Cleo's head turns around, fixing on Clementine for a few seconds as she sucks on her hand, then smiles brightly, reaching her arm out.

"I guess she likes you already," muses Sawyer with a smile.

As Sawyer passes her on his way into the apartment, Andrea reaches out, gently ghosting her hand over Cleo's head before she closes the door behind them and leads them further inside. This isn't entirely about her having her new friend and his daughter over -- though it's certainly at least partly that -- because she's interested, too, in seeing Clementine interact with a small child, given what she's been considering for her own future. Andrea had always imagined herself having a family, having a baby, but being in Darrow has changed her life in a lot of ways and she thinks she's going about this the best way she can. She's taking her time, taking into consideration all sorts of pieces of the puzzle.

"This is Bailey," she adds, reaching down to scratch the dog's ears as she returns to the living room where she has the food set up. "Clementine's dog."

Bailey heard her name and went right over to Andrea, thinking that perhaps she was being called to get some of the food she'd been smelling all afternoon. Clementine let her go, knowing she would just beg for scraps and leave if Andrea shooed her away, opting to come closer to see the little bundle once they came inside.

"Hello, Cleo. I like your name," she said with a tiny giggle, lifting a hand to touch her finger against her much smaller palm, smiling when she immediately closed her tiny fist around it. Looking up at Sawyer from under her hat, still a little shy, she said, "She's really cute."

Cleo smiles and immediately glances upward when she feels the pass of Andrea's hand over her head, against wispy blonde hair that still hasn't grown out to length. Offering Andrea a toothless grin, Cleo's gaze drops back on Clementine, her legs giving an occasional kick. There's a lot going on for the baby right now, who's been accustomed for so long to only ever being around a couple of people at once.

Seeing her that excited comforts Sawyer, helping him release the tension in his chest. It's going well. Even if Cleo starts crying and fussing at some point, Sawyer's at least glad that he's given her a chance to meet new people and enjoy their company.

"Hey, Bailey," he says first with a grin, nodding at the dog, before going along with Cleo's reach to help bridge the space between the girls. Cleo did her best to try and shake Clementine's finger up and down, holding it like a prize. "And she really is, isn't she? Don't tell anyone, but I think the name's got somethin' to do with it."

Sawyer winks with a grin, glancing over briefly at Andrea, hoping that he's getting this somewhat right.

"Here he goes, flattering you already," Andrea says with a sigh, as if Sawyer does this to everyone. He might, actually, for all she knows. A man who looks like he does, she figures he has to have more than a few admirers, but she hasn't asked him about it and he's never been anything but respectful with her.

"But I guess he's right," she says, taking a step back, appraising the two girls. "About you both." Then she turns back toward the food and drinks. "Alright, I have hot chocolate, tea and coffee. I think I know what you want, Clementine, but Sawyer, what's your preference?"

Clementine smiled brightly, watching the baby with a whole lot of interest. She was admittedly a little nervous, but she was already starting to feel more at ease, especially since Sawyer seemed so nice with the compliment and didn't seem like he was upset at what she was doing. Cleo seemed happy, too.

"We have lots of good stuff," she said, looking up at Sawyer. "Andrea made the apartment real nice 'cause you were coming over. I helped, too."

"Hey, I resent that. You were the one who told me how good your little girl was, and so far, I see nothin' that makes me think otherwise," Sawyer protests, though the frown on his face is a playful one for the most part. Something about the fact that he's interacting solely with women puts him at ease.

However ill-gained the skills, he knows how to speak more easily with them than his fellow men.

Cleo tucks her face briefly into Sawyer's coat, then wobbles back again, her hands groping around the fabric before an unintended tilt of her head has her staring at Clementine again.

"I really appreciate all the work you did to clean the place up. And the food smells great. You guys have got this place put together a lot better than I've managed at my apartment. Shall we sit? Coffee would be great."

"Yeah, do you need to put her down?" Andrea asks, gesturing at Cleo. "I know this place isn't exactly baby proofed but I can take her so you can take your jacket off." She smiles then, looking over at Clementine as she has a thought. She has no doubt, once she talks to Clementine about it, that she'd be wonderful with a baby, but she thinks it might be nice to see her interaction with one before that discussion becomes necessary.

"Unless you'd like to hold her," she suggests. "We can get you settled on the couch."

Wrinkling her nose in a teasing manner, she adds, "She probably won't throw up on her, right?"

Clementine wasn't entirely sure about it, but Andrea seemed to think she would be fine, even though she made a face at the idea of being puked on. She didn't look sick, though, so she didn't think there'd be that problem.

"Would it be okay?" she asked, looking at Sawyer. "I'll be careful."

"Cleo doesn't really puke much. Now, her farts, on the other hand," Sawyer remarks with a teasing raise of his brow, before tilting his head in the direction of the couch and waving Clementine along. He made sure to feed Cleo a good amount of time before making the trek over. There's the chance that she'll get hungry again sometime tonight, but at least she's been burped and doesn't have reason to upchuck everything.

"Anyway. Of course you can hold her. She might squirm a lil' and reach for your hair, though, so be careful," he warns, seating himself on a corner of the couch and patting the empty spot next to him. "She's been livelier than the last time you saw her, Andrea."

"That's what happens as they get older," she says with a laugh, watching Clementine and Sawyer fondly for a moment before she heads into the kitchen for a moment, long enough to pour Sawyer a cup of coffee and start some hot chocolate for Clementine.

"Do you take anything in your coffee?" she asks Sawyer, poking her head back into the living room. "Sugar or cream?"

Clementine went over to the couch, sitting down carefully next to him. The baby seemed so big, even if she was so young. Sawyer seemed to think it would be fine, though, and she felt better just thinking of it that way.

Bailey noticed them sitting and came over once it was clear making sad faces at Andrea wasn't getting her any food, peering at Sawyer with the curiosity she usually had for strangers. Clementine pet her behind the ears before sitting back.

"What do I do now?" she wondered, looking at him and ready to do what she was told to do.

"Just sugar would be great," Sawyer tells Andrea with a grin, hoping that he's been making a good enough impression for now. The dog finally seems to be coming around to him, and he gives her a long look, thinking about Vincent. A lot about this entire situation reminds him of the island. Strong woman, strong kid, curious dog.

Jury's still out on whether or not the location is improved.

"Can you hold your arms in an oval for me? Actually, you're big enough that you probably just need one arm. Feel free to rest it against the armrest here, 'cause Cleo's gettin' a bit heavy. With a smaller baby, you'd have to support her head the whole time, but she's been picking up her own head more lately. Just make sure you're there if she gets tired," Sawyer says, crouching by the couch and waiting until Clementine's in position before carefully transferring Cleo over.

Cleo's hands immediately reach for Clementine's shirt with a dazed smile.

Andrea prepares two cups of coffee and a mug of hot chocolate for Clementine, then pauses in the kitchen doorway as she watches Sawyer settle his little girl into Clementine's arms. She's not entirely sure what it is she feels watching the scene, but it brings a smile to her lips before she comes into the room with a tray for the drinks, setting them down on the table.

"Your's is the red cup," she tells Clementine before she sinks down into a chair, still watching. "Is she heavier than you expected? I remember the first time I held my friend Rick's baby and she was way heavier than I thought she'd be. I couldn't figure out how her mother carried her around all the time."

Clementine followed his instructions and it all led to her having a lap full of baby. She was a whole lot heavier than she expected, but she was solid enough that she didn't seem to mind the person holding her was much smaller than her dad. She smiled down at her as she pressed a hand against her shirt, then reached up to touch her face, too. She especially seemed very interested in her chin, which made her giggle somewhat.

"She is, but it's not so bad. Right, Cleo?" she asked the little girl, who was starting to make noises. They didn't sound like bad ones, like crying. She smiled up at Andrea when she put the drink down, though she obviously didn't take it just yet. t needed to cool, anyway. "Thank you."

Sawyer nearly makes a remark about how well Clementine seems to be engaging with the baby, before he suddenly remembers that he hasn't talked to Andrea at all about whether or not she's shared her full intentions with Clementine yet. Either way, Sawyer's sure that this meeting is something of a litmus test for Andrea, wanting to see how well Clementine might adjust.

He wonders if she might ever want to babysit Cleo for the whole day, just to experience it all from sun up until bedtime.

"I guess when you're slowly workin' your way up from a tiny little thing, your arms get used to it real quick. Everyone says she's growin' well, even her doctor, but the weight's never what I notice. It's always more what she does. She's been tryin' to interact with everything around her lately, especially anything that moves," Sawyer says, closing his hands around the mug. "Looks like Clementine's a natural."

"She's good at most things," Andrea says with a grin, wrapping her hands around her cup of coffee and she realizes how that sounds, that most parents would say the same things about their kids, and she knows Clementine's parents have been the ones to raise and shape her. But she's proud all the same. She thinks Clementine's a pretty amazing kid, especially given everything she's gone through.

"So she'll really like grabbing hair, huh?" she asks, looking at Clementine with a pointed smile. "Or glasses. I remember when a friend's son started grabbing at anyone who wore glasses. He loved them."

Clementine beamed a smile, pleased that she was doing okay enough to get praise. She mostly was just letting Cleo grab at what she wanted, even if it did involve her hair. It didn't yet, but it was getting close.

"Good thing I don't wear glasses," she giggled, though she seemed keenly interested in her hat, reaching up to try to touch the rim of it. "Is she crawling? My friend's little brother was really little but he crawled everywhere."

"Oh, yeah. Loves glasses. I've got this scientist pal who wears thick frames, and the first time Cleo met him, she immediately reached for those damn glasses. And I let her play with my reading glasses if she's ever fussy," Sawyer says, fondness bleeding into his voice as she watches the two girls and raises his mug of coffee to his nose, breathing in the strong scent.

"Ain't started crawling just yet, though. Still needs help trying to roll over onto her stomach, though once she's there, she doesn't seem to mind it. Does a little cute thing where she tries to raise both her hands and her legs like it might help her move, but she just ends up kinda stuck."

"She'll probably start to rock a bit soon, too," Andrea says, knowing how that looks when babies do it, their arms and legs in the air, stuck in their stomachs, rocking on the ground as if that will get them going somewhere. She has a feeling she knows who Sawyer's scientist friend is, too, but she doesn't ask after him, if only because she's not yet ready to explain to Clementine why she's been going to Newt's lab.

"You think you'll want to babysit when you're old enough?" she asks Clementine, because she's not that far off from the age when most kids start looking after others to earn a little bit of money.

"Oh, um, maybe!" she replied, honestly. She never really thought about it, actually. It felt like there was lots more to it than just holding her. She tilted her head down enough for Cleo to grab on to the rim of her hat. It was secure enough on her head that she didn't pull it off, but she sure liked touching the new object. "I never took care of a baby before, though. Is it really hard?"

"I think it's gonna depend on the baby. Cleo tends to be pretty quiet, so I like to think she doesn't give as much of a headache as some kids might," Sawyer says, though his expression quickly turns hesitant, his eyes narrowing. "But maybe I shouldn't jinx myself. Who knows what might change in the comin' months. Especially when she starts rocking and crawling."

He takes a small sip of his coffee, though it's still slightly too hot to drink.

"Then again, I'd love for her to have someone 'round who can set a good example," he adds, grinning in Clementine's direction.

"Oh, then definitely not Clementine," Andrea says as she leans back in her chair, trying to give a thoughtful expression, though it's hard for her not to smile. "This one is out at all hours of the night. She comes home with all sorts of rowdy characters, starts fights, steals cars. All sorts of trouble. I just don't know what I'm going to do with her."

Since Billy and Ben, she's been scared, admittedly. She's worried about how she might have affected what had been happening between them. She wonders how much of it was her fault, how much she could have changed the course of things if she'd only just known. Taking on Clementine had been scary simply for that reason, but she's come to realize what had happened there wasn't her fault and Clementine was a good kind, one of the best she'd ever known.

Clementine hid a giggle, knowing she didn't mean it. She did her very best not to be any of that, actually. Both because she knew her mom and dad would expect it of her and because she was happy Andrea let her live with her even when she didn't have to.

"Bailey's even worse," she added, smiling, as Cleo's hand grasped around the hand she offered her. She seemed real interested in that, too. "I bet you could tell."

Bailey was, of course, currently sitting by them still, her tail still wagging like it always did. The dog was probably one of the least scary dogs she had ever come across.

Sawyer draws a hesitant breath between his teeth, and gives Bailey a heavily nervous look. "Yeah, I definitely don't know 'bout that one," he drawled, eyes narrowing in exaggeration. "I've never been much of a dog fellow. Christ, you ever see the teeth some of them have got? And those tails, whenever they wag I know there's trouble on the way."

The fact that he isn't a dog person... isn't entirely untrue. But he likes dogs better than he generally likes most animals. Vincent might have warmed him up to the idea.

Hell, the island on the whole definitely expanded Sawyer's view. He certainly hasn't forgotten that.

"Well, gosh darn. I don't know what I'll do. Brought Cleo here and it turns out that all I'm doin' is having coffee with some hooligans."

"We haven't even gotten to how terrible I am," Andrea points out with a smile that she strives to make look as innocent as possible. "Clementine can tell you all sorts of trouble that I get into, too. Late nights, wild parties, all sorts of wild and unacceptable behaviour."

She knows exactly the type of woman she is. Sawyer and Clementine do, too.

"I think Cleo likes hooligans," she decided. She was grabbing on to the rim of her hat, and she gently pulled it off her head - her hair was messy underneath it, but that was okay - and she let her see it better. Made sure she didn't chew on it though, she was pretty sure that'd be bad. "Do you like hats, Cleo? This one is my favorite."

Clementine's hat has a well-worn look, probably an article of clothing that has been used and loved. It's only Sawyer's knowledge of the fact that Clementine's been through a lot which keeps him from asking too many questions. It might not be something she cares to go into.

A hat's a damn sight nicer than a handwritten letter, though.

"'Course she does. If Cleo takes after her mama or me at all, she'll love hooligans for sure. And hey, if y'all are into late nights, what I don't know won't hurt me. If you ever want to try babysittin' overnight."

Andrea glances at Sawyer at that, smiling faintly. One day soon she'll have to bring up the possibility of having a new baby in their family to Clementine, but since she's still not sure if she can, she wants to wait. Still, it would be nice, she thinks, to have a bit of a trial run.

"Only as long as we can give her back as soon as she cries," she teases.

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everyone here has loved and lost, so level up and love again

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