children, your time is done; if you say it's done together

[confidenceman]

When James Ford woke up that morning in an unfamiliar building, in a bed larger than the one in his house and a room so bare that it almost reminded him of the hospital, he didn't panic. Most things seemed unfamiliar to him, those days. Places that had once been familiar, like his grandparents' house, like the classrooms in his school, or even the pews of his church, never seemed the same anymore. The world had wrapped itself in velvet, almost, something dark, heavy, and against which James couldn't push very far, keeping him from feeling much of anything of the outside word. Keeping him trapped in his own thoughts. Wherever he was, it didn't matter— he was sure that someone had put him there for a reason, and that someone would find and whisk him away again before long— and so James simply slid his legs off the side of the bed and dropped to the floor.

Whoever had dressed him for bed hadn't done a very good job. The t-shirt that he wore was several sizes too large, and his underpants were just about falling off. Tugging them up as well as he could, James quickly stumbled over to the large dresser in the room, pulling every drawer open until he spotted a few plain t-shirts that looked like they'd only be slightly too big, and a pair of jeans that could be held up well enough with the aid of a belt. Wordlessly dressing himself, James peeked around the rest of the room, a faint voice in the back of his mind reminding him that today was the funeral date.

(And the thought alone brought tears to his eyes, but he shook his head vigorously; mama wouldn't have wanted him to cry.)

He pushed past the curtains of the room, unseeing. Pushed into another room, where a projector was playing cartoons in the background, where a bookshelf was piled high with books. Spotting a pen and pad on a nearby table, James looked carefully around before sliding them off with quiet hands and tucking the pad under his arm. He passed through a kitchen filled with sights, sounds, smells, but it didn't matter— he wasn't hungry. Standing in an empty hall, James looked down both ends, before turning left, to the doors marked as an exit, quietly pushing one just a fraction before he stood under the brilliance of the sun, a porch and steps in front of him.

Peeking around again, James pressed his lips together, walked forward to sit himself on the top step, and laid the pad across his knees. Now that he was alone, he could do this.

Dear Mr. Sawyer, his pen scrawled in uneven writing.


[ Eight-year-old Sawyer, after a night spent in the dorms for easier access to the showers, is now sitting on the front steps of the Compound and writing his famous letter. ST/LT more than welcome, no limit on threads. Replies will come from giveyouthis. ]

Comments

[thelikelife]

"Oh, just embarrassed," Luce admits with an exhalation, pressing her fingers through her hair. She doesn't think she's ever seen the boy before, which seems to be the new status quo on the island these days. "What's your name?" she asks, just to cover all her bases.

[giveyouthis]

When it doesn't look like she's been hurt too badly by the tumble, James turns back to his paper, a careful glance up at her now and again before he considers writing more. It's not like he wants the whole world to know what he's writing— he doesn't— but it's still something that he needs to get done. He's not sure how much he'll be able to write if he puts it off for too long, like it's one of those things that he just needs to push forward with, like it's one of those things that'll come to a stop if he doesn't push anymore. Starting's always the hard part.

"James," he replies quietly, figuring that at the very least, he can offer his name. It's just a name. "I'm James."

[thelikelife]

"Well, James," Luce begins, brushing herself off as if the clumsiness is an inherently physical thing and she can make it go away easily. "My name is Luce. I'm clumsy in all the wrong places, because when I insist I'm graceful, I do things like I've just done," she says, glancing at the paper for a brief moment. "Were you writing a story?"

[giveyouthis]

There's something so good-natured about this woman that James can't help but think of his own mother, wherever she may be, the way that she handled all of the pressures of maintaining a household with the utmost grace. The way that her fingers would brush against his cheeks with such care, the way that she tucked him in at night, and immediately James shook his head vigorously, trying to push the memory away. Mr. Sawyer wouldn't care about that. He didn't care about her, not if he took her money, not if he didn't care how angry his pa would be.

"No," he says, his voice breaking, his breath hitching. "It's a letter."

[thelikelife]

Luce hovers closely, not sure that she's supposed to linger this closely to other people's children, but there's a manner to him that makes her think twice about walking away so quickly. "Hey," she exhales, offering a wary smile. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. I know that secrets are very important," she says, serious as she can be. She'd heard that break, that soft tell. She doesn't want to pry. "I have secrets too."

[giveyouthis]

It's that admission that causes James' gaze to jerk up suddenly, almost curiously, his brows knitting together at the idea that this woman in front of him might have her own secrets too, that maybe she's been hurt by Mr. Sawyer, or some other bad man, or just someone who doesn't have, as gran's been saying, a feeling heart in him. There's a sudden temptation to tell her everything, to see if their secrets are one and the same, but James doesn't dare to hope, and so he stays silent on the subject.

"What kinda secrets?" he asks instead, his voice low and quiet, the gravelly quality one that has been present every since those tears started flowing weeks ago.

[thelikelife]

Luce regards him and feels so sorry for this young boy at the same time as she's wondering whether she's really about to tell a secret to someone she's fairly sure she doesn't know. "Well," she says, voice hushed, but very serious. "Secrets about the person that I love. They have to be a secret, though, because if people found out, they'd think I was a bad woman."

[giveyouthis]

James doesn't honestly know what about love could make someone a bad person. He knows, of course, that pa was angry at mama 'cause she started to love Mr. Sawyer and trusted him, but his mama was and remains still the best woman he's ever known. Just because she got fooled by a man doesn't change that. So he wonders, maybe, if this woman is the same way. Maybe she just got fooled and... did some bad things because she loved someone so much.

Of course, James also knows that there's a whole lot in the world that he doesn't understand, either.

So he watches quietly, then presses forward to ask, "Can you tell me?"

[thelikelife]

Luce leans in and taps a finger to her nose. "Of course, but only if you promise to keep it a secret," she insists, offering half of a smile as she settles slightly, taking a deep breath to remind herself that she can be this courageous and she can do this. "I fell in love with a married woman."

[giveyouthis]

Squirming where he stands, James doesn't really get a chance to make the promise before the secret comes slipping out from her lips, from that smile that reminds him of some of the pictures that his mama showed him of paintings all the way over in France, in museums that James is pretty sure he'll never get to see anymore. Still, he nods, even if it's after the fact, because she's asking him for something to keep her safe, and... well, he can't imagine keeping that from anyone.

"Does she love you back?" he asks, pressing his lips together. He doesn't see what's so wrong with loving people. Just as long as they talk and don't keep secrets from one another.

[thelikelife]

Luce has the immediate urge to hug him. She knows that she shouldn't, that she might get carted away by the island police for interfering with minors, but she's gripped by the need. "It doesn't really matter," Luce says, echoing words she'd said to her mother when she'd asked the very same question. "I don't want to be the kind of woman who breaks up a marriage."

[giveyouthis]

All that James knows is that marriage was the very binding that held his family together. He doesn't really know what it means to find that one person outside of the family, someone that he wants to spend the rest of his life with, and pull them in. (Mama told him that was fine, too, that most little boys don't understand being married until they're big and grown, and James knows that he's a long way from that.) When that broke, his family...

...his family.

He just nods, gaze dropping again. "'Cause you love her and don't wanna hurt her," he supposes, the only explanation that seems to make sense.

[thelikelife]

Luce gives him a look of understanding. Her smile is sympathetic and sad and now she really feels like she might burst into tears at any moment. After all, it's one thing to lay out your love life for a friend, but to have it on display for a young boy who's so good and kind...well, it's something else all-together. "Exactly. And I don't want to hurt her husband, either. He's a very nice man. And her family, her family would be so mad at me."

[giveyouthis]

James isn't really sure why she's so close to crying now, although he can venture a guess when he tries real hard. The thing about adults, he knows, is that they can picture things better than kids can. They can imagine what'll happen with one misstep, after one mistake, all the consequences laid out in front of kids to help them better learn. Maybe nothing's really happened between this lady and the woman that she loves, but James thinks that the reason why she's crying is probably 'cause she can picture what would and that makes it all the harder.

It's all still a little hard to grasp.

"But why..." he pauses, thinking. "Why would her family be mad 'bout someone lovin' their daughter? That don't make sense."

[thelikelife]

"Because she was already married and to a lovely man," she says. It's hard to explain and it hurts to get out, but maybe that's what she's been needing. The catharsis of such a moment has been avoided because Luce hasn't wanted to hurt, but maybe that's exactly what's needed. "Parents don't want their children to be upset."

[giveyouthis]

"But you ain't a bad lady," James says quietly, a deep tone to his voice, shadowed, and forceful in spite of how everything about his stance is tenuous, down to the feet that can't seem to decide where to stand. "If he's a lovely man and you're a good woman, then... things'll be okay. Maybe it's gotta hurt, but things will work out in the end if everyone..."

His voice dies out and his gaze wanders, unable to cope with it anymore, having to recount everything and trace over steps that he feels like he's been walking for years now.

"It'll be okay."

His words sound more like a question than a statement.